Thoughts on being 'overdue'

20 March 2017

I'm going to be pregnant forever.

That's what it feels like right now anyway. I genuinely feel like April the I've been growing a baby for over 15 months. In fact, April the Giraffe may possibly beat me at giving birth (it's still a possibility).

Before I became pregnant, I was oblivious to a lot of things, and now I know that the phrase 'due date' is probably the most annoying phrase in the world. A 'due date' suggests that something is expected on that date, much like a parcel. But my baby isn't an order, and it isn't something that you can choose to be delivered by express delivery at a certain time. It's a living, breathing, tiny human and only your body can decide when it's ready for baby to meet the world.

For that reason, I've spent the whole of my pregnancy calling my 'due date' my 'guess date', because essentially, that's all it really is. A guess.

I've always focused on the mantra that baby will come when baby is ready. There is no point trying to wish baby to be here if the time is not right as that would be no good for me and definitely no good for baby. It needs to be a natural process, and if our bodies are so incredible that they can grow a human life, then our bodies are clever enough to deliver when ready.

However, it can get frustrating waiting around. You start to doubt your own body. Am I able to do this? Is my body doing what it's meant to be doing? Why have others gone into labour and I haven't yet? I think all of these questions are normal really. When you've spent 9 months waiting for the best present of your life, it's only natural that the excitement can turn to angst. A baby will have to come eventually, and whether it's today, tomorrow or Saturday, baby will come.

So, according to my 'guess date', I'm now overdue by 9 days. I'm uncomfortable, tired, anxious and emotional, yet still positive and smiling.

I've tried to focus on just relaxing, spending time with Dan, walking little Max and making sure absolutely everything is ready for Peanut's arrival. I've had my hair done. I've eaten about 40 million Nandos. I went and saw the new Beauty and the Beast and ate fresh pineapple throughout.

Every day I go and stand in the nursery and just take it all in. It's ready and waiting, we're ready and waiting!

I've lost count of how many times I've hoovered, the kitchen is constantly being cleaned, and the hospital bags are waiting by the door. There's only so long left and I know the end of being pregnant is finally near. This crazy 9 month journey that has kept me on my toes (and sometimes face down into a toilet bowl) is nearly over.

I'm just going to savour nurturing my bump whilst I can, until bump turns into baby.

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Home Improvements: Garden Edition

14 March 2017

Has anyone been spying the glimpse of sunshine we've had recently? I didn't need to wear my coat whilst walking Max and I genuinely could have done with sunglasses when I was driving at points. Yesterday, I sat down at our family allotment with my Mum whilst she planted some asparagus (I would have helped but, y'know...being pregnant and overdue sucks.) It was glorious just sitting there in the sun, feeling the warmth on my face. I could actually feel the vitamin D soaking into my skin. Total bliss. It was a wonderful hint that Spring is on the way, and that Summer will follow soon after. Dan and I are so excited, that we've booked not one, but two Summer holidays. I know - mega keen!

But more on those another day.

With the weather changing, it's been hard not to think about sprucing up the outdoor regions of our house. In all honesty, there's not much that we need to do as we have a lot of communal areas that are taken care by a management team, but I love planning things for my parents garden. With a new baby arriving to the family, they've already been planning moving bits around the garden to make way for all sorts of kids toys and even a little wendy house!

We already have a hot tub, so I think the next big investment would be some really decent garden furniture. I've always loved cosy & comfy rattan chairs so this would be on my to-buy list. It would be lovely to have a barbecue with friends and then relax back with a glass of pimms - perfect!

Speaking of barbecues - you really don't need to have an incredible one to be an outdoor cooking connoisseur. Dan and I have created some serious food masterpieces from some basic disposable barbecues in the past and I'm pretty sure many of you have too! However, this bbq meets fire pit would definitely be one of my Summer wishlist buys. The fact that it's slightly lower to the ground and round means that it's a natural gathering point for family and friends. You can just imagine everyone sitting round it, tucking into hot dogs and homemade burgers keeping toasty warm as the coals burn. Ideal scenario in my opinion.

Kind of a kid like wishlist item, but I've always wanted one of these inflatable outdoor lounger chairs to relax in. This would be ideal for camping too as you can just take it with you wherever you go. I'd have to be careful of Max's little claws though or the whole thing would just go pop! He loves sunbathing as much as I do you see.

Does anyone have any plans to spruce up their garden for this Summer? I'd love to know your recommendations for fire pits, although I think that bbq/firepit might be an incredible buy!

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Pregnancy: what I'll miss & what I won't miss

10 March 2017

Would you believe it, but my due date is tomorrow. I'd like to say that it's crept up on Dan and I, but it really hasn't. The date has snowballed towards us at the rate of an avalanche, and even though we're ready for Peanut to arrive and frustrated with waiting for what seems like forever, it can be quite overwhelming too. I must have gone over my hospital bags 5 times, and I will stand in the nursery and just look around for minutes at a time. It's a surreal phase in my life.

One of the questions that you get asked often with pregnancy is 'have you enjoyed it?' It's an interesting question actually, as I don't think any woman goes through pregnancy without any troubles, big or small. 9 months seems a long time, yet somehow it's short too. Your body goes through so much and it's a time that is totally 100% life changing. One day, you're pregnant, and the next day, you're not and you have this little bundle of joy to look after. It's actually a very bizarre concept when you think about it. It got me thinking about the things that I'm going to miss about pregnancy and the things that I'm not going to miss so much.

Things I'll Miss

  • Knowing you're imperative to nourishing and growing a new life which you and your love have created. There's nothing quite like it.
  • Feeling baby move inside you - from the earliest flutters to the largest of kicks where it genuinely takes your breath away (and can sometimes even hurt!)
  • Planning for the future - Dan and I have loved decorating the nursery, booking our holidays and speaking to airlines about purchasing a baby ticket once they've arrived, discussing what schools they may go to in the years to come.
  • Watching your body change - it's sometimes been hard, but for the most part, it is absolutely incredible. Not a day has gone past without me thinking 'wow, I have a baby inside of me.'
  • Taking weekly bump photos - if you feel like you haven't grown a bump, then weekly bump photos are the way to confirm that you have! 
  • Listening to baby's heartbeat - this is overwhelmingly amazing. The first time Dan and I heard it, we just couldn't believe it. That was our baby, and it's little heart! Beating fast and strong. I've saved all the recordings to my phone, and we even have the heartbeat inside of a teddy bear for us to play back.
  • Friendliness of strangers - this might seem weird, but so many people want to chat to you when you're pregnant. Every shop you go in, the staff seem to want to ask you what you're having, when you're due, if you have long left etc. It's really lovely.
  • The anticipation of what's to come - even on a bad day, knowing that in a couple of months/weeks/days I will have my baby is the most incredible feeling. It makes every day worth it. 
  • Nourishing my bump with oils and butters - there is something lovely about giving your bump a mini massage every day and looking after the skin. It feels like you're cuddling your baby somehow.

Things I Won't Miss

  • Constant worry - OK, I know this one won't go away once the baby is here, but it will be a different type of worry. The worry you have whilst pregnant (particularly in the first trimester) can be all consuming. Is the baby ok? Should I be eating this? The list goes on, and all you want to know is that your baby is doing fine.
  • Sickness/nausea - Not everyone gets this in pregnancy, and if you don't then you're lucky, but I've suffered with this a lot in the last 9 months. In the early days where you have no bump, it can be very embarrassing if you don't get to a toilet in time (this has happened to me many times) and people assume you have a massive hangover. Not only this, but the nausea knocks you for six. There were days I couldn't lift my head without feeling like I was going to fall over.
  • Needing the toilet all the time - This is no joke, I mean all the time. As baby gets bigger, your bladder gets more squashed, which means you end up needing the loo constantly. I'm looking forward to having my bladder back to it's normal size and not planning shopping trips around public loos, believe me!
  • Feeling uncomfortable - this gets worse as the pregnancy goes on, and I cannot remember the last time I had a decent sleep. Whether it's back pain, tummy pain, side pain, pelvic pain, or general discomfort, it does make your life very, very hard sometimes.
  • Sleeping on your side - I naturally sleep on my stomach, so this has been hard to adapt to. You're not recommended to sleep on your back either, which means you can only sleep on your sides, preferably your left side. It's not a natural way to sleep for me so I've had to train myself to do it, and it hasn't been nice!
  • Heartburn - I'd never experienced it before pregnancy. Trust me, it. is. horrible.
  • Strangers touching your bump - I don't know why randomers feel the need to touch your bump, but they do. And by the time they're asking 'can I feel your bump?' their hands are already on you. It actually feels very invasive.
  • The way your body just says no to foods - this really does happen. My body has hardly let me eat meat the whole way through this pregnancy, and even wouldn't let me eat avocados for a month or two. I know. The horror.
  • Not being able to eat/drink certain foods - I cannot wait for a massive cheeseboard, washed down with a nice glass of red wine. 
  • Needing assistance all the time - it feels like it's been forever since I was able to get in and out of the bath on my own. And don't even get me started on putting on socks and shoes.
  • Not being able to see my feet - this is similar to the point above and causes all sorts of problems.

I'm sure many other women can relate to this. Pregnancy is a crazy journey of ups and downs. Just as it starts, you get nearer to the end. All I know is that I wouldn't have changed my pregnancy for the world, and I'm just really ready to meet little Peanut now.

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