Sometimes you just get tired. Yes, tired in the sense of feeling tired and needing to sleep. But what about the other tired. Tired of things, people, repetitiveness which you aren't getting anything from? Last Wednesday, I walked into my line managers office and gave my notice in at work. It's something I've been thinking about doing for about 4 months now. Jonny and I had discussed it intensively, and it was the right thing to do. He will finally be leaving Plymouth to work in London in June, and this is the chance I have to move back to London, near my family and friends, find new challenge, find something that is going to fill the 'work related hole' I currently have. So many tweets said 'so what have you got lined up then?' And the truth is, nothing yet. I'm searching for something new. I don't know what it is yet, but I know it needs to be new. My current job is very demanding and I'm constantly resenting the fact I'm usually working to 11pm, only to be up working again at 7am. It was fun at first, but now I'm tired. Last Friday, I sat down on my sofa and before I knew it, I'd been asleep for 3 hours. This cycle needs to change, and it will change. Last Wednesday, Jonny came home for the night. He physically was in our house from 6pm - 4am, and I was working from 6pm - 11pm, and then we went to bed. What is the point in that? Our relationship is not the norm anyway - military relationships never are. I don't want to be working when he is home briefly before going away to sea. That's not fair on him, or me. I think even Max is tired of it all.
The job applications and cover letters are in full swing, and if I'm honest, I don't really know where I see myself or what I'm meant to be doing in life. I love people and working with them, I know that much, but I truly don't know. I won't regret giving my notice, I'm already feeling refreshed, nervous and excited by the prospects of new things. It's just getting there that is the real challenge.